miscarriage

In hindsight, I wish I would have wrote 2.5 weeks ago after we finally went to meet a birthmom in person.It was such a big deal! The timing felt right, she felt right, it was just right. Well apparently it was not right. Not yet for us and not with her. She let us know last night that this was a grueling decision esp. after meeting us, but she was going to match with another couple. It is easy to in our numb states to say that it was 5 months of wasted energy, but it really wasn't. She is still a beautiful woman making a difficult decision and as we have all bee advised, it sometimes does take a leap of faith. I also know that there is a very blessed couple out there that will parent her baby but not have the experience of an open relationship with her as that was not her wish. This is still a possibility for us . As yucky as it feels, I know the right one awaits us. There is NO WAY to predict anything about the process of how we become parents, we just have to trust that the universe will provide us with exactly what we need, when we need it. And in the meantime, the puppy we parent gives us endless kisses and love!